When I want to write a new topic for my blog, God will tell me the week prior. Either through reading scripture, studies, a tv show or a book I am reading. This week has been slightly different. Today is Sunday afternoon, and I hadn’t felt within my heart to write anything, until only a few minutes ago. As I was sitting on the couch (sofa), I felt God say to me to be honest.
Prior to this happening, I was sharing with my wife; I have had enough of COVID-19 and everything related, being in lockdown, the restrictions in place, and not being able to go to places. As I was sharing with her, my eyes were teary. That’s when God said to me, “be honest.” I could write on pretence. That’s a lie, so this weekend sucks and I am writing on honesty.
Last night we had pre-crumbed processed chicken (I’m a chef; this isn’t something I would normally do). An hour later I had a headache still have one and felt very lethargic. I checked the ingredients and they have MSG in them. I am allergic to MSG. My body reacts to it. I get severe headaches; I get lethargic, irritable and pain in my guts. It is an unpleasant experience. When I feel like this, noises affect me. So much so, when my wife types on the keyboard, the noise of that sound echoes in my ears like a loud drum.
I was told for many years struggling while in leadership is a sign of spiritual weakness. For many years, I used to lie in relation to my feelings and emotions. As an adult, the emotions and feelings I bottled up came to the surface, just like a can of coke has been opened after someone shook it.
We are experiencing a pandemic. It has affected us in different ways. The stresses related to this pandemic are mind blowing. It has taken hold of people, mentally, emotionally, physically, Spiritually, financially, and in relationships. I have heard people try to keep it together. It’s ok to not be ok. God made us with emotions and feelings. We live in a sinful world and things are going to happen, life will have struggles. God knows this. When you have gone through hurt or life struggles, it’s ok to feel the emotion, hurt. When you are feeling unhappy or frustrated, it’s ok. It is how we handle those feelings that are important. We can feel emotion and react negatively, or we can react positively.
I have learned, being honest with yourself, recognising your struggles, and sitting in them is the first step to giving them over to God. God knows everything anyway, When you verbalise how you are feeling, it brings freedom. The truth breaks darkness. It comes to the light and the devil can’t use that against you, although, he can try. The power is saying it out loud to God.